His Beatitude Metropolitan of Kiev Onufry: It will not be easy on this path

The information and educational department of the Ukrainian Orthodox Church publishes an interview with His Beatitude Metropolitan of Kiev and All Ukraine Onuphriy to the magazine "The Boy" . - Your Bliss! Going to seminary, you as a priest's son knew about persecution of the Church, the clergy and believers. Have you no doubt about whether to put your future at risk? - The days of my youth, youth - it was a cruel atheistic time. Fought with God, with faith, with everything spiritual. Priests, their children, and those who went to the temple were considered second or third grade; They laughed at them, laughed, despised them, insulted them at all levels - beginning with any official events (meetings of young people, workers at the factory or collective farmers) and ending with the school and the street. This was considered the norm, and we are used to it. Of course, in the depths of my soul it was a shame, but regrets or desires to change myself just to stop being mocked did not arise. You could refuse God, stop going to church - insults would stop. But such thoughts were never. And before I entered the seminary, I thought about it a lot, prepared myself internally. I was drawn to this path, and I realized that it would not be easy on this path, that shame and reproaches would await me purely humanly. But that was not what I was afraid of. It was terrible that I would not do it. That I will come home, and they will laugh at me, they say, I wanted to become a priest, but I did not have enough brains. So for myself, I decided that if I did not do it, I did not go back. I will stay in the monastery, I will obey, prepare and act for the next year. These were my rear plans for the last resort. - Have you met with any of the confessors of the faith, now glorified in the face of saints or not yet canonized? - I met him, and many! Who in those days went to church, all were entirely examples. All are people of dignified life, such approved Christians. Really bright, exceptional personalities, an indisputable example of Christian perfection. Archimandrite Kirill (Pavlov), under the spiritual leadership of which we lived in the Trinity-Sergius Lavra . Holy during life: everyone thought so. Of course, he was not told about this, because to say this is to harm a person. But his life was in full view, transparent. He did nothing behind closed doors. Kelia never closed it, and only when he went to rest, he locked the door to the castle - otherwise he simply could not regain strength, because people were coming to him incessantly. His life for all was like in the palm of your hand, and yet we did not see a single wrong action, weak behavior on his part. Everything was dissolved by love for God, for people, and this he lived: he served God and others. A very vivid example of a living saint, whom I personally saw, and whose words I heard with my ears. I remember one family ... Lay people, also holy, special saints! They lived in Pervouralsk, in the Sverdlovsk region. Two sisters are both virgins, they did not marry. One was called Evlalia, the other was Paraskeva. By the surname Sirotkin. They came to us in the Lavra on a pilgrimage, where I met them. Evlalia was weak from birth, did not work. And Paraskeva worked at a large enterprise. As a believer, she was probably oppressed, but she behaved in such a way that in the depths of her soul everyone respected her. She was filled with love, helped everyone, everyone was sorry - at least a believer in front of her, though not. Once upon a time such a story happened. One woman from the factory where Paraskeva worked went home after the second shift, at twelve o'clock in the morning. I went into a dark alley, when suddenly I saw: a man began to pursue her. She accelerated the pace, and he accelerated, she ran, and he - for her. She realized that he wants to abuse her, and began to shout: "God Sirotkin, help me!". And the man disappeared. - Just like the biblical "God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob" ... "I knew such people." - Your Beatitude, it is known that the whole department in the state security agencies was engaged in cases against clergymen. What could a simple man oppose to this honed repressive apparatus? "Only personal courage." After all, it was a huge machine, well-adjusted, well-funded, and it was impossible and useless to resist it even at the legal, though at the economic level. It was possible to resist it only with courage. - Have you experienced harassment on yourself? How did you manage to overcome this? - To tell the truth, with exhortations to refuse belief to me did not come. I remember only one case. When I entered the seminary, it was necessary to pass a medical examination - very strict, as in a military school. And I suffered a lung disease in my childhood. For a long time already it was cured, all was normal, but on a roentgen have found any traces of this illness or disease and have sent me on inspection in city hospital. I have come, the doctor-pulmonologist, the woman, doing inspection, has started to persuade. "Now, you are such a young man, you would have to work in an enterprise - you would be happy. We would help you enter the university, you would study and become even happier ... "I'm silent, I do not answer, but I'm thinking to myself:" My God, I came only from the enterprise, but I did not find happiness there. And in high school I studied for three years and also did not feel happy there myself. " It's good that I did not say anything, because you could find fault with any word, and silence - no. And she talked and talked and stopped. "You did not only intersect with the living saints." In 1992, you happened to have the relics of the Holy Martyr Vladimir (Bogoyavlensky) in the Kiev-Pechersk Lavra . The first New Martyr of the Church of Christ, and the time of finding his relics, was also at the apogee of state pressure ... Can you tell us what you felt when you started this shrine? What were you thinking about then? "I remember when they opened the crypt at the Holy Cross Exaltation Church, they went downstairs and, by the light of candles and lanterns in the twilight, began to search for what was there and where. And suddenly I grope on the lid of the Holy Martyr's coffin with four balls. I think, what is this ?! What kind of balls are these - maybe, then there were special coffins, which were decorated with balls from above? The lid was removed, and under it some shavings. Then they only found the relics. And they realized that the coffin ... is turned upside down. Somewhere we read that when the martyr was buried, so in a hurry that the coffin was somehow inadvertently dropped, he fell and rolled over. So they did not even raise it: everyone closed and left - they were so afraid. And the cross, which was in the hands of Metropolitan Volodymyr, was at the very bottom ... Of course, there was a feeling of reverence for the saint. He so courageously confessed his faith - and not before the words of reproof, but before the barrel of the rifles proved to be a Christian and a priest. And this is much more complicated. - I remember very much what was inspiration when the power got ... In Ukrainian Orthodoxy there is a split, there is tension in the society, but now there is such consolation: once the martyr is now with us with his relics, everything will be fine. But why do you think that the primate of the Church, right before the eyes of the faithful, was taken straight away during the service outside the Lavra gate to be shot and no one interceded? - You know, nothing in life happens without the will of God or without God's admission. What happened to the priest-martyr Vladimir, and was God's voyage. So, it was necessary to suffer. Suffer, but your faith to profess. If God will let us go through similar experiences, I think He will give strength for this, both courage and reason. - Contemporary church history contains many sad episodes: divisions, interconfessional clashes, mutual hatred ... What can you say to a person who is confused by the fact that believers sometimes do not represent the image of meek disciples of Christ? - When a person comes to the Church, this does not mean that he automatically becomes a perfect Christian. And in regard to monasteries as: putting on black clothes, people do not immediately become perfect monks. We only ascend the way of struggle with oneself, with sin. And this struggle is very difficult. There are falls and failures in it, but there are victories as well. It happens, when the fight raises dust, splinters fly to the sides, noise, crack ... People see this and are surprised: "How is this possible ?! After all, it is ecclesiastical, and therefore must be perfect. " It turns out, to a person, the church demands are very high, and to themselves are very understated: "I am a layman, I can. But he can not, because he is a monk or has been going to the temple for a long time. " Nothing like this! The Gospel is written for everyone. And we must remember that the life of a Christian is different in that he struggles with himself, humbleth himself, restrains himself from sin; sometimes it does not stand up, but also in the fall receives precious lessons of humility. Such lessons, which then will help him to win great victories. In addition to the initial, in monasteries, and in the world, there are people who have already reached a certain measure of perfection. They have - love, patience, humility. Only you need to see these people. After all, those who have the good in themselves, always hide, being careful of pride, which can destroy everything: and what a person has acquired, and what he wanted to acquire. Man then ceases to notice the shortcomings of others, when he will begin to fight with himself. Then he will learn to be meek, gracious and condescending to the infirmities of his neighbors. And if he sees the falling one, he will say: "Lord, I myself have fallen so many times. Help, O Lord, that he stand up, and for his prayers have mercy on me and help me to go the way of salvation. " Therefore, in order to see worthy people in the Church who truly bear the grace of God, one must begin to struggle with oneself, with their sin and go to God.